Conscious uncoupling

So I learned something new today. 

This term - Conscious uncoupling - was not coined by Gwyneth Paltrow. Rather, it was Katherine Woodward Thomas who introduced this phrase in 2009 as a better alternative to a messy divorce.

I think this conscious uncoupling can apply to any long term relationship - married or unmarried. 

But I wonder if only one person can be party to this? 

My twist on this phrase is the slow, untangling one needs to do in order to step away from a relationship that has two people intertwined emotionally, physically, socially, financially.

My relationship ended over two years ago. The financial detachment was pretty quick because we were both in a foreign country and didn't have a chance to merge our finances like we did back home. 

The physical separation was of course aided by covid and the ensuing lockdown rules. That made it pretty easy for me to sit in my room and stew in the marinade of my anger, sadness, memories, confusion, etc.

The emotional dissolution has been a pretty crazy ride as I'm certain anyone can guess. I am actually doing great, except when I'm not. Two years down the line and you may still catch me feeling a bit cuckoo over everything and nothing.

I realised I still pray to the god his family introduced me to. Little male characters in anime remind me of his little brother who was tiny when I first met him. Some older woman on TikTok resembles his mother, I think. And the biggest thing that makes me stop in shock is how i feel when I come across his cousins' social media posts/stories and wonder why they didn't bring him along for their fun times. He used to include them in all his activities back home. Are they not taking him along for their fun nights out on town and stuff? I feel a bit of resentment. Then I catch myself. And I am like WTFFF. Should I be caring to this extent?

That's what I mean - is it conscious uncoupling if only one person is actively trying to disentangle themselves slowly?

I came across this documentary about minimalism on Netflix and there was a person there who spoke about how they felt trapped when they got a promotion and wondered if that's what their entire life was going to be like. There was instant recognition there because that's what I felt towards the end of my relationship and when I was battling with myself about staying or leaving. Staying for the familiarity or leaving because I love myself. I am so glad 2020 me took the big decision to be brave and chose myself. 

So, while I am still a bit raw emotionally, I am very happy where I am today.

Just wondering how long till I see the end of this one person conscious uncoupling thing?