Sundown

I took tea outside

To contemplate life’s sighs

Alone but not quite

Golden hour, softened 

Sky painted blues and purples 

A swathe of orange

How many colours

Should I boldly try on me

Can I stick to one

Little terrors come

Day, night, any time

Sometimes I squash, sometimes they 

Sweet evening breeze

Rustles my mother’s flowers

Then they spring up again

I drink my tea hot

Shiver in the breeze 

Evening air around me

all the bad days, they're everywhere now

where are the words to explain how I feel? how many ways are there to examine this erupting mountain of memories and loss? why do I feel so torn between taking the next big step? one minute I feel certain it is the right way, the only way, to go. another moment passes by and I hear his voice say 'so everything's my fault? you think you never did anything wrong?'. then all that certainty dissolves to form a bitter pool of tears. i am a storm of rage. why? why? you know what you did wrong!!! how could you not know the different ways you lessened my being? yet why do i still make excuses for you in my head? why does it still hurt to think i might be causing you sorrow? this world's take on relationships and struggles is confusing me. am i supposed to forgive past transgressions because this is what relationships are all about? because this is what being a partner means - giving chances, working on your problems, forging a new path in life together. but what if I can't afford to give him chances because he had 10 years to be better, do better but all he did was continue being the worst version of himself. 

I am sorry to the woman i was for shrinking, for forgetting, for forgiving. 

in case no one's told this to you lately....

When you are feeling tired and unhappy and lost, I want you to remember that your exhaustion is valid but today is just one day. This life still holds for you:

1. the joy of drinking tea

2. the excitement of finding new books

3. the changing seasons that mark the passage of time

4. the capacity to learn new things

5. the choice to be kind, to be better

6. the ability to push forward

7. the power to forgive yourself

8. the wonder of nature that can dazzle your mind

9. the rejuvenating power of sleep to heal you

10. the anticipation of going home after an exhausting day

as they say, with great power comes great responsibility

Global stars BTS spoke up in support of the #BlackLivesMatter movement that is currently ongoing in the US and across different parts of the world.

The artists (and BigHit) also extended financial support with a donation of $1 million earlier this week. 

As the news broke out, ARMY, who was already starting to collect money for BLM, launched an online fundraiser to match BTS' donation. This massive fundraiser called upon ARMYs and any fans or collaborators of BTS' to contribute. Online activism was at its peak (even thought ARMY was already speaking up loud and clear) that day. There were continuous tweets, fundraiser updates, and tagging celebrities the entire day.

I was up for 20 hours (7th to 8th June) reading up on the latest happenings of this fundraiser. It was so heartening to see everyone wholeheartedly supporting the BLM movement. Racial injustice has long been a bleak and harsh truth. Police brutality being the reason of one more innocent black life lost pushed everyone to act.

We need people with influence to speak up and share their support publicly. ARMY was proud of the boys for speaking up and contributing financially to this fight for equality and respect. The boys' influence was so vast that ARMYs across the globe started donating whatever they could spare to match the artists' donation.

And we made it!!! 

$1m million within 24 hours....

I donated a tiny amount. I hope that helps, one way or another.

Thank you, BTS, for speaking up and showing solidarity with fellow human beings. Your visibility in this movement helps affect how young people think and behave. I'm sure your black fans appreciate your support. And your non-black fans will remember your stand in this important matter and try to emulate you.

To top that spectacular day, BTS was part of YouTube's  #Classof2020 celebration. They shared their personal graduation stories and also spoke about what has helped them function as adults today. Namjoon said to keep on pushing ahead and that we are alone but together. Yoongi said learn to let go of things you can't change and focus on what you can actually do something about. Jin said don't compare yourself with others and it's okay to go on at your own pace. Hobi said take that one more step when you feel like giving up and one more again, every time. Jimin said you will always be loved. Tae said remember that luck and opportunity is waiting for you. Jung Kook said have faith in yourself.

My graduation is long gone. But I'm still always in need of support and comfort like anyone. I hope the young graduates, who watched the YouTube celebration on their behalf, found warmth and took comfort from everyone who spoke at the event.

The best was saved for the last and BTS gave one of their cutest performances to date. The boys looked happy and comfortable. They sounded amazing. What more can any ARMY wish for?